Posted in love, relationships, sex

An all-female ‘Game of Thrones’ roundtable: Daenerys gets her glorious ‘Lemonade’ moment — Fusion

Reading this made me feel so good inside.  I am such a fan of GoT and Danny is my FAV character!!!

The relationships between the men and women that are depicted in this show can correspond to just about any relationship today!  What woman isn’t yearning to be heard, or seen, or loved, or caressed, or connected with, or respected, or seen as an equal..or hell even higher?!?

There’s so much power in Danny…and after watching Sunday’s episode of GoT… I’m fired up!!!


HBOEvery week, the ladies of Fusion will join together to discuss the most recent episode of HBO’s Game of Thrones. This week, political reporter Katie McDonough and culture reporter Tahirah Hairston tackle season six, episode four, “The Book of the Stranger.” Culture reporter Kelsey McKinney could not participate this week because her HBO GO did…

via An all-female ‘Game of Thrones’ roundtable: Daenerys gets her glorious ‘Lemonade’ moment — Fusion

Posted in love, relationships, sex

Recruiting Season…pt. 4 – Kappaman

When I first laid eyes on him, I thought he was cute!   I could tell right away that he was young, just by his demeanour, but I did not let that stop me.  He was eyeing me from across the dance floor the entire evening.  It was a Kappa Alpha Psi, Inc. eventhat took place sometime during the winter.  I was looking good that night!!!  I had on my black Beyonce “freak’em” dress, heels, and legs for days!!!

As I made my way to the dance floor, I caught a glimpse of him looking at me.  I was fully hypnotized by the music, wish I could remember the song, when I noticed him walking towards me.  We started dancing, face-to-face, but when he moved behind me…………maaannnnnnn!!! I made sure I threw it back at him ; )!!  I wound my waist and backed my booty up on him, just so he could see what I was working with.  I knew I got him! I pulled away and turned around, faced him, and gave him a smile!

After a few more dances, I had to sit down!  Some heels are meant for looks, and the ones I had on were just that.  I was not supposed to be dancing like I was 21! Needless to say, I had to sit down for a few! As the night went on, he continued to look at me, eyeing me, winking! I smiled!

When my girl was ready to leave, I made sure I found him so I could get his number.  He took the time and walked me to my car.  We exchanged  numbers and a nice passionate kiss.  Then I drove off!

At that time, I was still in a relationship with my now ex-fiance (sorry if you or a friend are reading this and you are finding out about my slight infedelity this way 🙂 ) so, if we did see each other again, it would only be to satisfy my sexual craving (area that was lacking in my relationship at that time). I had to make sure he understood that. See, I knew I was wrong, but I was not satisfied at home. I needed a relase and here was my chance to get it.

It was his kiss that got me!  I’ve always said, there is nothing like a man who can kiss! A great kisser really gets my body warmed up for what could possibly happen next!

Weeks – then months went by… we corresponded with each other off and on.  Let me add that he lived at least 3 hours away from me.  He was in my area the night that I met him. I let him know that I was engaged and only wanted sex from him.  He was down! But what 25 year old would turn down an opportunity to have amazing sex with a much older woman?  Bragging rights to your crew? Learning new some new tricks?  He couldn’t resist!!

So we finally decided to meet up at a hotel that was in a town located between where we both lived.

Let’s just say that was NOT our last encounter. He knew just what to do and how to do it.  He continues to play his part very well!

*Kappaman – The Rookie – Too young, but lots of energy*

One thing about your rookies is that they need to have knowledge of the game! They MUST know how to play their role!  They are young, still learning the ways of women.  This makes them excellent members of your team because they have not established any “bad habits”….yet.

For example, you call and they answer, you text and they repsond right away and THEY make plans to see you not the other way around. Because a rookie takes his position very seriously, he will do whatever it takes to get as much playing time as possible!

Always have a “Rookie” – you’ll never get bored and you will always have someone who is consitent…for fear of being benched!!!



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Recruiting Season…pt.3 – Mr. Electric

At this point, I figured it was time to find some new recruits.  That’s when I met “Mr. Electric” (interpret however you wish 😉 )He was in the first round of drafting.  Lots of potential.  He was 43 at the time we met, nice build, bald head, funny, slightly shorter than me – but I was ok with that, and gave me just the right amount of attention.

Mr. Electric has 2 daughters – both in their early 20’s.  He is an electrician (bet you thought that nickname meant something else…HA!), who worked in another state.  He would be there during the week and back in town on the weekends.  He came across very loyal, reliable, and discreet.  He loves his daughters as well as his mother, which is important to me!

Down sides – he can be rather annoying at times and is not as “open” as he seems to be.  He has a lot to say about EVERYTHING, but his actions are SHIT!! He wanted me to visit him in the other state that he works in, seeing as how I have summers off, as well as meet up with him at various places.  HOWEVER, he would not come pick me up to take me out!  His excuse, “It’s too far out-of-the-way!”.  REALLY? REALLY?!? He also had a tendency to talk about sex ALL OF THE DAMN TIME!  I would think that with the age difference, he would be able to hold a decent conversation about another topic other than sex.

Now don’t get me wrong, we spoke about other things, but sex was always at the top of his damn list!!

*Mr. Electric – The Veteran – Know it all!!*

Having never dated or spoken to an older man can be a challenge.  Especially when you are used to dating guys your age or younger!  An older man CAN be intimidating!  But relax – age is only a number, don’t think of him as being “older” but “wiser”…at least you hope he is!

Here’s what happens:

At first you will intrigued be, excited by the things he says, his smooth lines. Words that only a “seasoned man” would be able to use eloquently and persuasively.  You will find yourself giggling and smiling endlessly, almost to the point of having a sore face.  But remember, move cautiously – he’s been in the game a little longer than you have!

When it comes to playing time, he knows exactly what to say and how to say it.  He is a “veteran” after all!  He knows and has all the right moves to score.  He knows how all the other players move on the court, especially the rookies.  He knows exactly what they will do!  He is not AT ALL intimidated by them because he knows he has the coaches ear!  How is that possible? Again, he has some years on the other players so he knows how to maneuver. He uses this “perk” to his advantage, allowing him  more time on the court than he probably deserves.  When someone else does something wrong, he is right there, ready to sub in!

Keep in mind – no one on your team knows each other. There may be a select few that do, and those are the ones that can handle it! eg. “The Rookie”!



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Recruiting Season…pt. 2 – Coach C.

Once I see that Mr. M and I are not going anywhere, I contact another old flame. Let’s call him “Coach C”. Now, I’ve known Coach C since high school.  During the warm, summer months, I would go to the basketball courts around the corner from my house to watch him play basketball.  In all the years that I had known him, we only kissed, NO hanky-panky! (this did change…)

He’s another one who doesn’t know if he’s ready to commit.  He is older than me, only by about 4 years, has a decent job, no children, but has been dealing with someone off and on for the past 5 years. So he says! Her Facebook profile pic tells a different story.

I don’t talk to him much, but because I know that he has always been interested, I decide to give him a call.  Why not? Of course he gets on me about only contacting him when I am single (soooo true!!!), but I usually just counter that with  “Oh, I just don’t want to disrespect my relationship talking to someone else, especially when I know they like me.” Blah, blah, blah!!!

So we met up, talked, went back to his place. Nothing happened…this time! Eventually we do have sex – it was…let’s just interesting…being held upside down can get very tricky! …and that’s that!

We talk every once in a while – chit-chat. However, I know that all he wants is sex….or is it?!?

*Coach C – Old school crush – No time!!*

Ever have a guy that you have known for a long time, wanted to try a relationship with, but he is always too damn preoccupied with something else?

Here’s what happens:

So there’s this one guy you’ve known for a long time. Again, talk to every few months – if that! But he’s always close by! His job and extracurricular activities keep him very busy. He claims he never has any time.  He’s “working” or “coaching” or anything else other than trying to spend time with you. You know he’s not worth the energy, but you keep him around. Why? Because you know he likes you, you know if you needed some sexual pleasure you could get it! You know if you want to go out and have a drink or watch a game, he’s down!!! But..he is not reliable! Why give him reliable yoni? Why bother?

Why do we women allow for a man to dictate our time and do it according to their schedule. Take Coach C for example, he is an all around great guy – but he has no time…or it’s going toward his other woman – his main chick!

So what do you do? Well you could leave him alone…COMPLETELY? You could answer his calls or call him when boredom sets in? Or, you could take a chance and see if he’s interested in giving it a try? Great!!!

So what’s the problem?

This guy does not know how to prioritize properly!  You know he is an amazing guy, could be great for you! He may not have the “perfect” look (whatever that means), but you are willing to give it a try. Look past what isn’t there and focus on what is.  Sounds great, but… he’s too busy!

Giving him too much playing time on the court, may make him feel himself too much. You have to strategically plan his playing time!  He’s an average player, wouldn’t be the star of the team! However, you are willing to give him a try but on a limited basis!  If he can step his game up and really learn to balance both his professional and personal lives, he would be a perfect match!



Posted in love, relationships

Recruiting Season…pt.1 – Dr. M.

Some may not agree with my  ideology on men, and I’m okay with that.  These are my experiences and my views on men!  #notapologetic

I’m sure you have heard that there is someone out there for everyone.  Or the don’t look, he will come to you.  And that may be true!  However, what do you do in the meantime?  Wait?  Sure, but while you’re waiting, you should date, have fun, and see what’s out there.

After I ended a 5 year relationship, 2 of which we were engaged, I decided to get right back in the dating scene.  Too soon?  No, my relationship was over in my mind and heart prior to my leaving.  So, I was at a point where I was ready to see what else was out there!

The first person I contacted, from my virtual “black book” was my longtime friend, Dr. M (name change of course).  I have known Dr. M since the 2nd grade, and we have a love/hate relationship.  We love each other to death, but hate that we can’t seem to get our mid 30’s shit together in order to be a couple.

*Dr. M – The one, but can’t commit*

Ever have a male friend that you know you can spend the rest of your life with?  You value the friendship the two of you share, but at the same time, you want so much more!

Here is what happens:

At some point the two of us had sex or it just happened.  The night he was over watching a movie or a football game, one thing led to another and before you know it, we were in bed together.  Now, because of our friendship, the sex didn’t change things, but it made it more difficult to keep our hands off each other when the two of us were together.  So now what do I do?  There have been conversations about being in a relationship, trying to see if it would work, but….

So here I was, contacting a man that I have a tendency to push to the side when I am involved with someone.  Expecting something from him, but I was not quite sure what.  It seems that when people leave one relationship, they tend to look back and find that someone that they felt most comfortable with.  That someone who was always there with open arms because they know you so well and are not at all offended by the way you treat them.   Of course I felt bad about not reaching out to him while I was in my relationship, but I knew that he would understand.  He did!

But there was a catch!  In the years that I had not spoken to him, he had a baby.  A beautiful baby girl that he shares with a woman he does not care for!  A woman that does not know him like I do!  A woman who thought that by having his baby, he would fall in love with her and they would be one big happy family!  A woman who has taken my place as the mother of his first born!

I will say that Dr. M and his baby’s mother have a great parenting relationship, and he is a wonderful father!  Ok, so maybe this isn’t much of a set back for me!  However, he does have new responsibilities.  All of his free time is gone!  He has to juggle being a parent and being a boyfriend at the same time.  Not to mention, he hates his job (he has a new one now) and does not have a nest egg.  Oh, and he stays at his parents house!

Ha! So what do I do?  Do I still want to be in a relationship with him?  What does he have to offer?  Can he be committed to me and continue to be a good father?  Doesn’t seem difficult, but for someone like him, it is! I mean, the sex is great, your trust him, you love him!  So what’s the problem?

He can’t commit!  He is scared!  He is comfortable with his situation, but he will deny it!  Although he has everything you would want in a man, it is not the right time for him.

So what to do?  Keep him on the bench!

He is not ready to put in time on the court.  You don’t want to trade him, at least not yet, but his lack of self-confidence, motivation, and committment phobia does not sit well with me!  Therefore he is on the bench until further notcie!

Posted in love, relationships, sex, Uncategorized

A Fine Line…finale!

A recurring idea from others is that feelings do develop, especially for the woman!

The thinking is, when you have sex with someone, you give them a piece of you!

A man enters a woman – not just physically but spiritually and emotionally. In some way the two are connected. Some believe forever! Would it be far fetched to say the two become one?

Posted in love, relationships, sex

A Fine Line…pt.2

Would a man be ok with a woman who said to him that she only wanted sex and nothing else. No feelings involved!  Most men would LOVE this idea.  They would have to respect that woman for being honest about her intentions.  Right? But, the woman would catch feelings!

Some would agree with the notion that women are more emotional or more caught up in their feelings. However, I believe that women just show their emotions more and are open to developing feelings – letting their guard down – and accepting them.  Men, not so much!  Men try to hide feelings especially those that have a huge issue with trusting women because of past relationships.

So just having sex with no feelings attached would be easier for a man than a woman.  Unless, you are a woman who is done with relationships and just wants to be satisfied when needed!  Or, if you are someone who is newly single or fed up with relationships – having “feeling free” sex with someone may be an easier concept to accept!

Well, I’ve done some real life research on this topic and I can honestly say, that after a 2 year stint – and counting – with a particular someone, things are great!  There are no feelings involved, and we have a mutual understanding.  He does his thing, I do mine!  However, when we meet up its FANTASTIC!  Sex, conversation..everything!  It does help that he lives a few hours away 🙂 (more on him later)

I believe that as we get older, we begin to realize that sex is one aspect of a successful relationship.  Not to say that it is not important, but we look for more than that!  Therefore, being able to just have “sex” with someone with no feelings is typically not an option.

Posted in love, relationships, sex

A Fine Line…

Is there a FINE LINE between developing feelings for someone and just having sex with them?  How easy is it to separate the two?  Can it be done?

In the movie Love Jones the main characters Nina Mosley (Nia Long) and Darius Lovehall (Lorenz Tate) meet, go on a date, and have sex the same night.  He wakes up the next morning and cooks, “a cheese omlette” – Darius.

When each of them encounters their friends, they each say, “This isn’t a ‘love’ thang, we just kickin’ it.”  Life happens, but in the end they do get together.

Would it be easier if they just had that single night of passion and moved on?  Or even a few nights?  When do the feelings start to develop?  WHY do they start to develop?  Would things have worked out differently if they establisehd this type of relationship from the beginning – THIS IS JUST SEX! NO FEELINGS! NO ATTACHMENTS!

Could Nina have accepted that from Darius?  Could Darius have accepted that from Nina?

Let’s explore….